Winning Olympic Handball
Mark Corallo thinks the U.S. could dominate handball:
The USA could dominate Men’s Handball. How so? After all, we don’t really have any factories from which to draw our talent (Google, Yahoo!, IBM and Microsoft don’t count).
But we do have real athletes — lots of ‘em. We have thousands of big, brawny, unbelievably talented athletes. We could recruit NBA players and the biggest soccer goalie we can find. After all, the movement is similar to hoops and requires a goaltender. We get 13 NBA players who didn’t make or want to play on the Olympic hoops squad. “Okay Shaq, you want to add a little gold medal bling to the trophy case?”
We tell them that Handball is basically basketball without rules or fouls. So you can charge, clear the lane (the way you always wanted to “clear the lane”), go up and down, dribble if you feel like it or not — no refs are going to call you for traveling. Oh, and you’ll be a full eight inches taller than your tallest competitors. It will be like you’re a mix of the Harlem Globetrotters and the WWF (all we’d have to do is show them video of the no-call on the clothesline and they’d be all over this game). And you get to throw the ball as hard as you can into an enormous net. Or you can throw it at an opponent. . . .
We’ll give you a week of practice to learn the “rules.”
Heck, let’s make dodgeball an Olympic sport. How could the “evil Americans” not win that?
“An All-American Sport“
