New Revelation: Salma is the Superior Hayek

by Sean Hackbarth

Salma and Friedrich Hayek

Right now, I’m having a moment of clarity. Not ordinary clarity, the crystal-clear clarity like that which inspired Pepsi to make a bastardized, clear version of its flagship cola.

Forget all this stuff about prices conveying information allowing people to coordinate the production of goods and services. I want to know all about Frida Kahlo. Not so much the artist herself, but the movie character played by Salma Hayek. How did Salma prepare for the role? What books did she read? Who did she talk to? Did she travel to the places Frida lived? Did Salma learn to paint? Did she get high on the same fumes as Frida? I need to know.

Then after that, instead of pondering Friedrich Hayek’s proposal for a commodity-backed currency I want to delve into Salma’s work as executive producer of Ugly Betty. I want to know how this artistic genius turned a Colombian television show into an American success.

Such talent is about more than studying what’s necessary to promote and maintain a free society. Salma is about getting into the underlying, literary meaning that lies at the heart of the character Isabel in Fools Rush In. Could Friedrich, the Austrian economist, pull off such a feat? Not a chance.

I’m sorry Friedrich, but not even a Nobel Prize can cut it for me anymore. My intellectual gaze has moved past you and onto Santanico Pandemonium. In the never ending battle between you and the lovely Mexican, Salma now places first in my mind, heart, and soul.

I shall study the works of Salma Hayek. Monographs must be written, documentaries must be made, iPhone apps must be designed, Twitter hashtags must be created.

Lots of work, but worth it.

P.S. I also think Jack Bauer needs to show more of his softer side. He should wear more pastels and put together a Hello Kitty collection.

Oh, by the way, April Fools.

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One Response to “New Revelation: Salma is the Superior Hayek”

1

I’m not certain if I’ll feel better or worse, should I follow the links and find that there is an explanation to this… dialogue, or that there isn’t an explanation.

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