June 28, 2003

Coping with Loss

It hasn't been 48 hours since I found out my cousin died, but it feels like its been days. At least in my house things are "normal." Mom, Dad, sis, and myself are all going about our business. Still, the event hangs like a fog over us all. We all know it's there so we have to manage as best we can. Distance helps. My family lives 45 minutes away from my aunt and uncle so we're not constantly bombarded with reality's cruel volley.

Monday becomes a day of sadness and rememberance. Visitation will be at Michelle's high school. Lots of her classmates are taking it hard. That afternoon the funeral will be at a local church. Since I grew up in the same town as Michelle, I know how a small community can gather together for support. I also know I'll be seeing people I haven't seen in a while. If only it could be under better circumstances.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I'm holding up fine so I don't need them. It's my aunt, uncle, and cousin, Michelle's 8-year-old brother, who need the support. In addition, think about those three who survived the crash. They're all wondering why they lived while one died.

No matter how much (or little) you've read of TAM you know I don't use this weblog as a personal diary. Online emoting doesn't happen here. Plenty of opinion based on strong-felt principles is what you find. I find public emoting to be almost pornographic. Many things about a person do not have to be displayed to the rest of the world. It's kind of like my few of music file sharing: just because it's easy to do doesn't mean you should do it.

What I'm trying to get at is you won't be reading some post where I lament Michelle's loss by bringing up a host of memories and feelings. TAM will not turn into a memoir-blog (New term? Quick, start a meme!). If I discover some bit of universal truth from these days of tears, I'll pass them on to you.

"Authorities Identify Teen Killed in Vehicle Crash"