July 30, 2003

10 Worst Songs

Dylan Wilbanks, Mark Hasty, and James Joyner are yapping about really, really bad songs. Here's my list of the 10 worst:

1. "Kokomo" by The Beach Boys--This song is a farce of themselves.

2. "Faith" by Limp Bizkit--How could this song make this band stars? Fred Durst sounds like he's wetting the bed while singing. Then he starts screaming like his mother just found out.

3. "Radioactive" by The Firm--Jimmy Page wasn't playing his standard rock blues. He was playing some warbbling, annoying instrument that looked like a guitar.

4. "I'll Never Let You Go" by Steelheart--The laws of physics prevent any man's voice from getting that high. And the singer looked like a Barbie doll.

5. "Could've Been" by Tiffany--Sweet, sugary, sappy, and bad.

6. "Kernkraft 400" by Zombie Nation--That cheesy synth line drills through your skull. And they play it all the time at Packers games to make the locals feel a little hip.

7. "Mony Mony" by Billy Idol--He tried to turn this into a dance punk song and had it end becoming a lame fist-pumping anthem we're stuck with on 80s compilaiton albums.

8. "Here I Go Again" (slow version) by Whitesnake--There were two versions of this song. The one I truly hate is the slow, quiet version that took all the heavy riffs out of the original. It was just a plain, vanilla ballad, not even a power ballad.

9. "When I See You Smile" by Bad English--This song was a prom staple. Typical hair metal power ballad except this was even sappier. I liked the band, but fast-forwarded past this song every chance I got.

10. "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips--Sugary, lightweight, and completely lacking in substance. At least the red head was cute.
    

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UPDATE: I forgot to mention THE worst song I have ever heard. Even if I think about it I cringe. That song would be Styx's "Mr. Roboto." It's bad Queen, bad Broadway, and has insipid lyrics. So that means I have 11 worst songs.