December 31, 2003
Letter to Dean, M.D.
Dear Dr. Duck,
Please refrain from wearing a Green Bay Packers hat on the campaign trail. They're my favorite sports team and I don't appreciate you jumping on their playoff bandwagon just so you can pad your lead in Wisconsin. Also, they have a winning tradition which you won't know much about after you're defeated next November.
Please ignore Jonah Goldberg's ignorant comment implying the Packers are some kind of quasi-socialist organization. While they are own by shareholders, they are still a private entity. They are a great example of a community-supported enterprise that seldom needed government help. Currently, the team does receive tax-payer support for the remodeling of Lambeau Field so they wouldn't make too many libertarians happy. Let it be noted that the Packers aren't a good example of the socialistic tendencies inherent in your campaign platform.
If by some gift from God (he does work in mysterious ways) you become the next President of the United States and the Packers win a Super Bowl during your term, feel free to wear a hat with a big "G" on it. For now, stick with one of these or, more fitting, one of these.